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Saturday, November 14, 2009

sonreir.


I made this new blog for me, and you. And haven't, had the time to sitt-and writ-in-it. But tonight, here I am. Not really believing that it's November, and Thanksgiving is in basically a week. I can't wait for my family to come to Utah. My cousins that I nevereverever see. Who are my best cousins. Since the summertime, since my old blog that is now a secret, not-a-lot happened. I just work at this Deli, a place where grumpy mothers love to bring their kids and order kids meals, and decide for a really long time what they want to eat and ask each child what they want even though they can't even talk yet, and let their kids roam the Deli, and also... It's a night out for women to come and stare at the pastry case, crack jokes about calories and dieting because they are scared to order dessert in front of their friends, and then fight over who "gets" to pay. Even though I give off the impression that I hate my job, it works for me. No, I work for it, but that's alright for now. I have great co-workers who smear my brother's name around, and make everyone think he is a douchey person, when they don't even know him. But I know him, and I know that he is a wonderful person, full of love. He is talented and hilarious and I love him so much. I love my co-workers too. But don't make me get into the cosplay and Mike's books from his brain, and other such details. I have been thinking really hard about going on the mission. Being one of "those"... even a Sister Missionary. Who'da thought? Not me. But it's just so right, and I have decided to go. I just have a few more things to take care of before I can hand in my papers. I am at the point where I truly feel excited about it, and 99% happy about going. And if they send me somewhere cold, that will drop to 97%, and if I go somewhere warm I could say I was 100% happy. Those numbers are all safe and high though right? What is there for me here? absolutely nothing. School? No. Boys? Yes. But I will leave them anyways. I don't even want to GO through the process anymore of liking people, it's so draining, and now I know how it ends. (which is a despair) You see, there will always be that blondie that's better than you because she smiles more. But I don't have to smile if I don't feel like it. All my smiles are genuine, never fake. So take that and whiten your teeth with it, blondie. Just saying. But I have had a great experience in the area of love, and I learned so many ways, and so many things. (not in a dirty way) I don't regret. And I try to respect the now. Because, I am nowhere and it's now. And I see beautiful little things in each day, amongst the wretched routine. I see a blessing for me and one to share. I feel happy when I go to bed at night, hit the lights. 6 nights out of 7 a week. I feel good about the life I am living. Nothing shady, nothing sketchy. Unless its just me, sitting in the shade sketching my dream house. Which I would be doing if it was sunny and I could draw. So take that, and do your homework knowing it, blondie. I don't know what this means. I'm going now to hang out with Sarah.
peace.

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