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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

micycle...

All about me and all of inside me goes through a whole cycle week to week to month to year. I'm sad in the winter and happy in the summer- that one is simple. I'm mad once a month, another obvi. But also, I overgo this other cycle. For a few days I will feel very flirty. For a few very tired. The next few no appetite. The next few all I want to do is intake calories. And the days after that I feel so excited, and invest so much wonder in everything I see, followed by a few days of numb, and then a few days of extreme energy and motivation and I make to do lists and organize anything I have time to organize, only to mess it up three days later when I am in my lazy state. Painfully awkward...then maybe too confident. Careless then repentant, repentant then careless? Then I get all nauseous for a few days, and have anxiety. And then everything goes back to normal, and my face gets clear for like an hour, and then I am mad again...you know what I mean? And it repeats itself, yet my emotions always surprise me and I always wonder..."what is going on with me??"
I took some pictures today because it rained and I think it is super beautiful outside. But I don't want these to just be some other pictures. Some old pictures some girl took attempting photography. So I am going to talk about them a little
bit.


In this one, I ripped away some of the mountain so I could see the sky. Ripped it with my bare hands. I am so tired of mountains, and them always getting in my way.


It's like, there are these little branches which are great and all, but if you hold onto them they aren't going to take you from the current, they will be taken from the ground with you into the current. Don't hold on to invaluable things.


The blue color of the sky reminds me of ballet class, the orange leaves remind me of trick or treating, the big tree reminds me of recess, and the light green one on the very left reminds me of my birthdays when I was young.


I wanted to see this as a big green field with a ceiling of trees. Like a huge picnic area or a skip around area. Although it's not quite like that because it's so small, and it's really next to a main road... How many things in my life do I look at and wish they were different, seeing them the way I want to see them until I look around and the truths of my surroundings are not parallel to this.


secret secret,



secret



This picture of the barn and the picnic table behind a blossoming tree should totally be taken in the sun. But the sun does not shine on que. Just like you don't choose for someone to break up with you at a more pleasant time, or choose what would be a better day to be sick.


the dinner bell. where should I eat?

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