Sunday, May 23, 2010
An FYI-unauthorized-memo-dictator-conscience came to speak with me. I said; "Are you torturing me? Why am I being tortured?" Seeing that I had finally dusted off my courage and brought it out with me, and bought from the ticket man a MOVE ON stamp. And then I waited in this long line, and when I got to the front they told me that ticket would get me nowhere. I went back to the ticket man to ask him why he would sell me a fake, and he was nowhere to be found. The ticket stand was completely shut down, with a SOLD OUT sign. And then, in that very moment I looked back and saw the comfort of my past. Of where I had just came from. I started to scope out a design of that former life that could fit customary to my current passions and needs. I could maybe just re-model. So I started walking back. Out of nowhere, I got a very unpleasant pain in my back. I could no longer move in any direction. So I stopped at the limbo to see a doctor. There were four things involved. Pain, lancing, culturing, and trauma. My mom met me there. She brought me some goodness, love and attention. I didn't know it but I had been craving some attention, and it tasted quite nice. I needed to feel like I was 12 again. Just flip the 21 around, because I'm already in my very own parallel universe, my personal twilight zone. So now I am just outside of limbo, looking for a ride to the next nearest civilized town. That's where I met the previously mentioned FYI-unauthorized-memo-dictator-concsience. As I was having it out with him, truly weighing in on all honesty, my Bishop came. He stopped me for a second and told me the real truth. I am not here to be tortured. I am not here to suffer. I am here to be happy and happiness is coming for me. Good things are waiting for me. Everything is becoming aligned so I can receive these things. I officially believed him. And so just like that; instead of trying to find a way back to my starting point, I took another glance at the ticket stand. The MOVE ON stamps were indeed still sold out. But there were new things being sold, new tickets to different shows. I was trying to decide between "DON'T GIVE UP" "LASCIVIOUSNESS" and "IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN" "IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN" was indeed the most expensive, but I felt I would get the most excitement out of it. I'm first in line this time. I am pitching my tent long before people are even leaving their homes to this event. A VIP pass, a ticket to ride, a passport to paradise, impending doom, who knows where the ticket goes. But when they take my ticket, I'm sure they will say something like "I did this one once. It was a wondrous adventure I will never regret or forget. Good luck to you brave soul."