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Sunday, August 8, 2010

the bullets are too soft

The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating--in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.

--I just threw that in there, because I was trying to tell someone about it and couldn't remember it. And maybe they read my blog, sometimes.

My own stuff in my own head is feeling like a million piece puzzle. Sure, it could come together one day, it would be foolish to leave all the pieces...they're sitting there heavy. I think that some of it has been put together by all these things that I have done, but it's only the shadows of a real picture. Can you make out a shadow? Sometimes. I would feel better if I just come out and admit: I'm not going on a mission because I want to see Lady Gaga when she comes in March of '11. I will probably just be returning from my hot winter in Arizona. Yep. I'm that rash. Is there a difference between being impulsive and rash? And can impulse ever be a positive feature? (when it comes to things like computer shopping) I am just going to say that I have no idea what I am talking about right now. When I am talking about impulsion I wonder if I really mean indulgence? Would you make the assumption that a lady was indulgent if all you did was look at her but she had a double chin and a gunther? I would. And then would you not think "impulsive eater" and then...go be judged for your own judgement and have karma give you a bacon & butter sandwich craving. It's a real sandwich!
no...... no it's not real. It's a rash thought that someone had, took the impulsive leap of making the thought into a sandwich, then indulged by eating it.
If you grew gluttonous and famous at the same time...that would be really bad for your rep. And here's the thing, people will do real rash things to become famous. If you look at my angle, you could possibly see that we can't win in this situation, so it's good most people aren't in it, including me. So I have no idea who I'm even talking about.
(people with gunthers.)
And after that speech I feel as if I have lost my edge pieces.
What is it with me and digression

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