Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I am wondering when was it decided that I would see my co-workers more than Kaleb? I'm positive we spent more time together last summer barely knowing each other. In fact referencing my calendar a year ago was the first time he took me out, to Tepenyaki. How nice would it be for the two of us to go tonight. Alas, we are never together. That's only one way to look at it. I could say that Kaleb is working hard to provide for this little family. He is a working man at heart. I'm glad he can work, even if it's in the middle of the blasted night. It fulfills the true desire he has to work. I really hate admitting that I like having the whole blanket, and not feeling the guilt of making him use his own. In all the time I've known him I would have never guessed he was the ultimate blanket steeler. But alongside it he is the ultimate prayer giver, ultimate kisser, ultimate back scratcher, dad, and husband. I was giving it thought, and concluded something. Since my inner self really does wheel around in a chair, I struggle a lot personally. I am always battling things so there, that no one ever sees. Anxiety and depression. (It's okay I have jive juice.) I often think Kaleb is too good to be true. There is never a moment he isn't sweet, tender, forgiving and attentive. We haven't had one single noteworthy argument or "fight". What's to be said about that? That among so many headaches and heartaches I am the luckiest girl in the world. And I don't mean that in a song lyric kind of way. I mean it very literally I am. I sincerely believe he is that boy from all the fairytales. It is thrilling to be clueless about our lives. We have no idea, yet we will do something. And then we can look back in so much time from now and know for sure it always works out. And go on to be clueless about something else. I hate it when people always ask me about the married life. "How's married life??" Not for any reason besides every other person asking me. Truthfully it's very casual. I'm still just a normal person in a completely ordinary life, nothing different other than I took a natural step in life. My un-married friends want secrets and warnings and advice-- I don't have a lot. The thing is when I am with Kaleb I finally, after a very long time, feel like I am all the way home. He is in a sense my home. I feel for him how I used to feel as a little girl with my own family. Safe and comfortable. How do I say that casually to every other person? I haven't written for a long time. Since before my wedding. I would like to fulfill this popular question, and talk about my experiences so far.

What I dislike about being married so far:
He can tickle torture me at any given time (and he does!) but it's impossible to get him back because he is 10x stronger.
Thank you notes to wedding guests.....
One of the walls in our living/dining room is a mirror
I don't want him to see me brush my teeth
That one time when he left for a month, and the possibility that he will leave for longer
It's hard to not gain weight after getting married
I feel 20x more guilty buying expensive jeans for the hell of it
We re-introduce ourselves every week at church
"sometimes" he does not make his dishes dishwasher ready
Discussing our camping trip
Kaleb uses a loofa.

What I love about being married to Kaleb:
Kneeling with him in prayer
When I'm cooking in the kitchen and he's out on the grill, and I can see him through the window. (never a meal gone wrong)
Waking up, and he is right there and I can see him and touch him immediately. His voice at morningtime
The time we discovered we were considering an underground house
Being responsible for someone other than myself
His adorable girl Isabella, spending time with her, and observing what a good dad Kaleb is. My kids will be lucky.
His family. His dad's "get real" attitude and sense of humor. And his texts.
Him getting to know my family, and discussing family things with him, like which sister is most like me
His lats
Going to the temple with him and how handsome he looks there
How handsome he looks in a suit
How handsome he looks in his military attire
Seeing his shower gel and shampoo while I'm showering
Seeing his red truck when I pull into the condo. He's home!!
He believes I am beautiful
Getting on facebook and stalking people together
When we go to watch T.V. and all of the sudden he has the couch and pillows and himself completely arranged in his favorite cuddling position, in a flash
When he put socks in the microwave to heat them up and burnt them
He convinced me to drink more water
He vaccuums

Well and there is a lot more.

1 comment:

  1. You two make a cute couple, I'm so happy for you!! I'm very happy to have you as a step mom for Isabella!!♥ella