Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Grand Junction, CO
Do you think that bad omens can ever mean great things are to come? It's just that the entire week before we moved to Grand Junction was absolute hell. Then when we pulled into our new apartment late Sunday night, a black cat and a gray cat scattered out of our way. I have seen the apartment once before but Kaleb kept reminding me how "very small" it is. He thought that I was romantisizing it in my head or something. He had this tone in his voice, like BE AFRAID. So I was afraid. He also informed me that there was no possible way we were going to have our bed against a wall. That was devastating news to me. Without my cacoon, how am I to ever grow wings?? I gulped bad when Kaleb was unlocking the door to 1102, unveiling my fate.
Life has been wonderfully pleasant since that moment. There is nothing special about this place but I love it. It is smaller than our old place, but just feels bigger. There is more room to think, and more air to breathe. (More money to spend, also.) I have managed to defy all odds and now not only is our bed against a wall, but our sleeping quarters is a cave with a wall on one side and a makeshift dresser wall on the other. I knew Colorado would make me a genius. Or maybe it made Kaleb dumb. Just kidding.
I used to be paranoid about all the Subaru driver Sugarhouse dwellers in SLC hating us because of our big trucks. I just got really bad vibes. But in Grand Junction, one in three people own loud diesel trucks. There are so many diesels out here that I think Kaleb has come home ten different times before it's actually him. We kind of fit in.
I can't understand why yet but it is undeniable that we are meant to be here. I am sad about not living in Utah and I very much miss my friends and family. I am so excited to have this new experience but I don't know how to let go of the old ones. It's true that as people we are free to do whatever we want, but that is somehow not liberating enough. We can roam into the other room for a drink of water or move the next state over whenever we please. But we never can roam back into the past, into our old homes and memories, just to hang out for a while with our glass of drink.
Wish us luck.